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2 May 2012 | Category: Stories | Author: Clare

I am not sure I agree anymore with my earlier sentiment.

Though disappointed they were here so soon, I had been happy to exchange the snow for the company of mosquitoes. But clearly I had forgotten how irritating these little guys were.

Besides, when I say little, that does not quite do justice to the dimensions of these flying tyrannosaurs. I guess I could more accurately liken them to modern day pterodactyls, but that doesn't quite convey the size of their bloody teeth.

Pre-season bugs are generally a little later, lazier, and spend their time procreating, not preying on people and dogs. But this year they not only bite like undernourished domestic animals, they are flying incognito with no buzzer.

Like a van with no back-up alarm. There is no warning, you simply look down and bingo, there they are, happily chewing down, sucking back an annual donation to the food bank, depleting your iron resources, eating your insides, and worst of all gifting you with a welt the size of an acorn, that feels like someone has stuffed a small bean bag under your skin.

Not to mention the itching that lasts so long it feels as if it will be with you for the rest of your life. And if I am endeavouring to honestly communicate my current frustration, I should mention the sleeplessness that accompanies trying to keep up with the scratching required to service 50 bloody mosquito bites!

Groan, will my immune system never get used to this annual assault? I don't see Canadians reacting to them this way, and have to assume it is because I am foreign.

To make matters worse, I have unwittingly trained a team of Olympic athletes on my evening runs with the girls. A little pack of mosquitoes pursue me from the door of the cabin, all the way down Wiseman Road and back.

Granted it does motivate me to run faster, and my little groupies keep me jogging when I might otherwise give up and walk the rest of the way. I would definitely take a coronary arrest over being malled by a group of highly trained mosquitoes.

The whole picture is just wrong.

Bees die if they sting you; I can respect that. These bugs only die if you are quick enough to notice the attack is in progress, and smoke them while attached. Otherwise it is like an air-raid, and you swat at them as they float by. Irritatingly they are a little too flimsy, and an overly zealous swipe creates a back draft, blowing the little buggers out of reach.

Other bugs help pollination, pest control, etc. What do mosquitoes do exactly? How do they earn their keep in the circle of contribution?

The only thing I have seen excited by their presence are dragon flies.

And therein lies the solution. I am going to start BC's first dragon fly farm.

It definitely will not cost me anything to feed those cute little insect helicopters.

Truly mosquitoes are quite depressing.

For my sanity I have to conclude they were a thoughtful mechanism to help us appreciate the return of winter in 6 months.

Please, bring back the bloody snow!

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